Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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