Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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