tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
