I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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