Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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