New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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