I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
