I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
