Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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