Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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