love makes seman taste better
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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