if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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