I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
