Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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