Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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