that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize
