can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
