I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
