he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
