ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
now i know why i became what i already was.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
