I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
