I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You made out with two different species that night
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
