How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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