May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
