I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
