Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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