yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Randomize
