hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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