I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize