My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
They have beer where we have blood.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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