tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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