bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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