i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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