No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
