I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
