He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
