I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
