Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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