I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
