we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
