my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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