it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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