Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
