Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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