this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
