i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you would pick up someone in the library
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
