dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
