Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
