I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
