ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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