I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
