So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sorry my hands just texted you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
