and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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