He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
