This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
