True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
