It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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