I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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