I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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