anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
COCAINE IS GR8
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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